Why I Chose Meds
Taking medication is always nerve wrecking. Whether short or long term; having to deal with a scheduled regime, possible side effects, and the fear of maybe being on it longer than expected can be something to drive you insane.
Exactly how I felt when I was faced with the decision to begin anti-depressant treatment or to continue living a life on a steep slope. My diagnosis: major depressive disorder. My symptoms: frequent mood swings, suicidal thoughts, lack of socializing, the feeling of worthlessness, and sadness.
My fear of being on anti-depressants was simple; I didn't want to be the zombie that I've heard about or seen. I still hadn't been transparent about my bouts with depression and anxiety, but praying or pretending it away was making my life harder to deal with. In addition, my stress level had risen in my work and home life. I was losing the superwoman spirit that I've juggled for years.
I needed help. More help than speaking to a therapist weekly; more help than praying to God daily. This is when I decided that taking anti-depressants was the right step for me. Now I'm at a point where I'm trying to wing myself off of the medication, but then I sit and wonder... if it's keeping me sane, why should I stop?
My doctor suggested that I get my weight and lifestyle in order before I stop taking the meds. Of course exercise and healthy living is treatment in itself. But what if i become psychotic once I stop?
I won't kick myself down thinking these thoughts. I'd rather do what I can to get better, so I can live better. If living better means staying medicated; I can accept it for a happier life.
How has your life changed since starting anti-depressants?