Is my career killing me?
How would you feel to work so hard on your career to lose it all due to how it affected your mental health? This is what I've been asking myself lately, and I've literally been pondering on if I'm to a point of disability. I love my job... my career. I've always enjoyed working on fast pace assignments to managing several projects and engaging with multiple clients at a time, but lately, the constant muscle spasms and migraines after a long and stressful day has me wondering if I need to find a new career. Could the fast-paced 9-5 be too much for me now. It's been a few months since leaving a leading position due to the unhappiness and stress I endured. I literally would have nervous breakdowns throughout the day, that lead to lunchtime cries, and sometimes hiding in the bathroom stall just to get by. I was deeply depressed and had reached my breaking point. My therapist said that the stress of my job mixed with at-home stress triggered a major depressive response that would have to be managed with more therapy and medication. I took some time off and came back to work with a new vision of leaving what almost broke me. Now I'm here... again. Although not as bad, the anxiety of going back to how I was scares me. Honestly, I'm not ready to move on to another place, around new people, to relive same things. It's scary to feel that you can't do something due to an illness or disability. I feel defeated at times; I will never be fit, because I continue to eat my stress away; I will never be happy, because I can't seem to function in certain environments that impact my life. What I do know and what will always remain... my mental health matters.